I get asked that question a lot. Sometimes in general conversation people will just stop, look at me and ask, “How did you get to be so funny?” At first, I would just be confused, but the more I was asked the question, the more I began to ask myself the same question. HOW did I get to be so ‘funny’? Am I really even that funny? I’ve always considered that question to be a compliment.
At first I assumed that I inherited my sense of humor from my family. When we get together, we are the funniest people I know, each one trying to outdo the next. Always pushing the limits and nowhere NEAR politically correct. Damn, I love them. However, certain changes in life have given me the opportunity to reflect and learn more about myself these past few years and have learned a lot about myself.
I have been the odd kid right out of the chute, probably even came out sideways. I was always that kid that people would look at and wonder, ‘what in the hell are they doing/thinking?’ Life events occurred early on that caused me to be even more withdrawn and less socially adept. I did well through elementary school, but was blessed to attend a very small, rural, close-knit school. Junior High school was a completely different story and my oddity made me a target for those who needed one. Kids can be very creative in their forms of ridicule and exclusion. So many days I would wake up and play sick, usually very unsuccessfully. The busride to school was often similar to a death-march in that I knew as soon as I walked in the door the torment would begin. Tiny jabs throughout the day when a teacher was turned away was typical, but the bathroom was ground zero.
I remember watching movies such as Goonies and Stand by Me and completely relating to the protagonists. I cried when I watched Carrie for the first time because I cheered for her acceptance and my heart was crushed when it was all taken away.
What I’ve realized, however, was that I learned to laugh at myself before those other people could. I became very good at self-deprecating humor, actually too good. I also have gotten quite good at using humor in completely inappropriate situations. I would make jabs at myself before anyone else could.
Frankly, I’m thinking about creating a club titled, ‘the league of funny fat chicks’. I get tickled at the gym when seeing a fat chick working with a trainer because we really are funny. I don’t know about them but by the time I became willing to go to a trainer, if I hadn’t laughed, I would have cried. Actually, I did a few times.
I guess what I’m really trying to say is this: to all those people, the plastics, the perfect people, those who derive the joy from making other people feel less-than, ‘Thank You!’. Sincerely, thank you, so very much. Out of all the gifts I have been given in life, humor is one of my favorites, and while your intent was to make me feel less-than, you were unsuccessful. It may have taken a lot of years and a lot of pain, but today I can say, thank you and truly mean it.